As humans, we are creatures of habit. We are who we inevitably are. We can grow so much, but yet we can slip back into our old habits, those same old habits that got us into trouble before and held us back from opportunity, held us back from being the best version of who we are, and held us back from self-love.
I have said this before and I will say it again – I have grown so, so very much, more than I could have ever dreamed, but even so, some days are really hard to want to continue to fight this fight of loving me and doing better for me. Some days it is really easy to go back to old habits, let negativity creep into my head, make negative assumptions and to let self-doubt cloud my judgement. Some days it is so easy to become the girl I used to be, because quite honestly I may always be her. But I can continue to encourage myself to have a different mindset. I can continue to grow and push myself to do better, to learn from past mistakes and to be there for me.
For me, one of my biggest struggles has been needing validation from others and not knowing how to give it to myself. Often, I would require constant validation. Thankfully, now I am in a place where I can acknowledge and celebrate my worth, which is a beautiful, magnificent gift, but sometimes I still feel myself needing more. Sometimes I feel myself doubting the very validating statement that I was just told by somebody else. Sometimes I feel nervous to say too much, to send too many texts, and nervous I have anything to say that is valid. Sometimes I feel like overthinking will be the death of me but I have to stop myself in those moments and recognize how I am truly feeling. I have learned to question my negative thoughts and ask those thoughts – “What basis and factual evidence do I have that would make these negative thoughts true?” Most of the time, the only evidence is actually the complete opposite of those negative thoughts in my head.
I have started staring in the mirror in those moments and have started saying to myself “Ivy, you can do this”. I try to remind myself of my strength, and remind myself of my growth and that I can continue to push forward. And even when I fail to not break old habits, I keep on trying because I remember how dark it felt to depend on someone else to validate my worth, especially when the person I depended on was manipulative and didn’t say the things I needed to feel better about myself. But it was beautiful to learn that I didn’t need to wait to receive validation from others, and instead I could learn how to give it to myself. I finally found what I had been craving and desiring my entire life, self-love.
We all have to keep our heads up, maybe we will always struggle with the habits of our pasts, but we can be stronger than those habits. We can continue to fight the demons in our heads feeding us negativity and we can stop and remember how far we have come by reminding ourselves of our growth, our worth and our strength. We can stop and pause and really break the situation apart and analyze it through before acting. We can accept our flaws and forgive ourselves when we do act on old habits. We can keep pushing forward, even when it is hard, we can do this.
I can do this, you can do this, we can do this.
You have come so far in your growth and you will continue to grow, despite nights when you feel like you have lost it all. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. Repeat it to yourself over and over and over. Whatever habit you are trying to break, remember you are strong, remember your growth is amazing and beautiful, you will fight to be the best version of you today and every day, even when it seems impossible.
You Can Do This.
I’ve got your back.
Be Beautifully Simply You