Thankful For the Pain You Caused

I am thankful for the pain you caused me, because the pain helped me to grow. I am thankful for the times you told me I was over reacting or that my feelings were not valid and made me feel worthless, because feeling worthless made me hit rock bottom, which allowed me to learn to love myself. I am thankful for the nights I cried because of you, because crying made me appreciate joy so much more. I am thankful for the fights, because fighting allowed me to appreciate patience and understanding. I am thankful for what you put me through, because without that experience, I would never be where I am today.

I never thought I could be so happy. I never thought I could ever find something that made me feel like I had purpose again. I never thought I could ever feel so beautiful. I never thought I could love myself so much, and despite continuously going back to old habits, I keep loving myself and forgiving myself anyway.

So I thank you. Thank you for showing me that I deserved better for myself and that I deserved to feel beautiful. I let you go, and thank God I did because then I finally found me. I found love in myself, I found love in the beauty of flowers, in the beauty of the feeling of the sun touching my skin, I found love in a beautiful human who lifts me high and brings a smile to my face and a breath of relief to my soul. So thank you, because without you, I would have never known what true, kind, understanding love was.

Whatever toxicity or negativity is in your life, remove it, let it go. Whatever it is – your boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, or job, that is holding you back, let it go. When you finally break the chains of toxicity, you open up the beautiful realm of possibilities of hope, love and success. It sounds easy on paper to let it go, and I would be a fool to say it was easy for me or that I think it would be easy for somebody else. It took me years, it took me sleepless nights of crying just to wake up, brush it off, stay, and repeat the vicious cycle over and over. I know that letting go of toxic relationships is difficult, breaking up with anything or any one is heartbreaking. Your idea for your perfect laid out life shatters right before your eyes and sometimes all we want to do is hold on to toxicity for dear life, despite knowing that we shouldn’t. Toxic relationships have a funny way of looping us in so tight that we feel like we are suffocating but also at the same time unaware that we can’t breathe. Manipulation tricks you into thinking that staying is the best idea and fear keeps your feet planted on the ground when you want to run, run as fast as you can. But you can do it, you can run, you can realize you want to breathe new fresh air, you can take off and never look back. You can thank and forgive that person or that situation that hurt you and made you feel small, because in time you can look back and recognize your growth and your worth, things you may not have found had this situation not happened to you.

Every day gets a little bit easier. Remember your strength, you can continue to move forward. Every experience is a growing experience. There are no mistakes, you were given this challenge to come out of it 100 times stronger. I never thought I could leave, but leaving despite the heartache, provided me with the most beautiful year of my life and it provided me with an opportunity to love myself so much that things finally fell into place – I started a blog to help others like me, I met an incredible guy who keeps taking my breath away, but most importantly, I met me. I met the real me who I have come to realize is a pretty cool person, a person I would have never met had I stayed. I want you to know that it’s not easy to leave, but it is worth it, the beauty in the reward of realizing you are right where you are supposed to be for the first time in your life, is worth it.

Keep going my beautiful warrior, keep going.

Xo,

Be Beautifully Simply You

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