Yesterday I wrote a pretty long post on my personal page about my mom. It had been one month since my mom passed away. I can’t believe it’s been a month. I felt compelled to share the story – to share my pain during the 36 hours before, during and after her death.
I think about how far I’ve come in sharing my journey. Of course my blog and story are public information. But not everyone in my personal life reads them. A lot of people on my personal page, they see the joy and the laughter and happiness. They don’t always see the pain. And I could have made my post yesterday into a blog post, very easily. But I felt compelled to share. Because I know there is someone out there who is hurting like I am. I know there is a daughter or son missing their mom or dad like crazy. I know there is a child terrified of losing their parent. I know there is someone who is in so much pain from the loss of a loved one, but is holding it in, unsure how to process it and share it.
Yesterday’s post for me was raw and real and open. There was no happiness or joy to it. It was the real pain that I am feeling every day since my mom died. It’s not easy losing your mother and your best friend all at the same time. It was hard to write, but easy to share.
A lot of times people ask me how they can open up to someone about their mental health. My advice sounds terrible but I tell them to just start. And I say that because I mean it. Just start, start with journaling or with talking to someone or even talking with yourself. Just start. Don’t hold it in. It does get easier with time. Years ago, I wouldn’t have shared so openly about my pain. It gets easier, you get stronger. Some days it won’t be easy, some days you won’t feel strong, but you can keep moving forward, you can keep trying again. You can start again. You can share your pain. It’s freeing and liberating and can help you to get the help and support you didn’t even know you needed.
Sharing my pain is now something I do to help others, but in reality, I also
do it to help me. I write these weekly blog posts even when I don’t want to or even when I have nothing to share, because it’s my own way of making sure I keep reflecting and sharing and providing you and me with confidence that speaking about your struggles is not a sign of weakness, and there will always be someone who will understand and support you.
So just start. Just starting to talk about it was one of the best decisions I ever made for myself. I am not quite sure where I would be if I was still holding in all my pain. I believe in you. Just start.
Be Beautifully Simply You
One thought on “You Can Talk About Your Pain”
a beautiful and important message Ivy. Thank you for encouraging us all to begin expressing ourselves however we can. Burying our pain can have mental and physical effects on us. Yes, it is nice to be happy, but it is much better, and healthier, to feel EVERYTHING. Much love and strength to you.